My Summer of Love

There is not much to be said about the guy who is now my husband. Or, just this that he makes me happy.



It is strange that I am dedicating a blog to my husband. For one I usually don't feel excited writing about my personal life. Two, I still introduce him to friends as my boyfriend (for lack of a better word). Also I do not know if I actually think of him as my "husband." I know he heals my insanity, he treasures my dreams, he admires my craziness, he inspires me to achieve everything I want but I have never paused to think if all that makes him an endearing husband. He is my "love"- that is more like it.

So in my otherwise long-distance relationship, this summer shines out sparklingly. As I studied for long hours preparing for my Qualifying Examinations he cooked all the meals and let me study. Over summer I have definitely grown more fond of him. (No ! Not because he cooked) I guess it is important to be be fond of someone you have been wedded to. Also the word "love" comes with immense amount of baggage but somehow fondness does not and it surely helps a marriage survive. Fondness I think allows more space for things going wrong, love is less tolerant and more messy. So my fondness-based relationship blossomed this summer.

In the hope that this relationship will see more summers here are few things I have learned -

1. It is stupid to evaluate/explain why you fell in love and what exactly made you fall in love. Or stupid to dwell on it too much. Make a list of 5 things that made you fall in love and ask yourself if you were to find the same in some other person would you fall in love with him/her as well ?

2. It is good to get angry and let it out but anger should not cause permanent damage. It should not take you on a path retreating from which will be difficult.

3. Share everything with your partner. EVERYTHING can be shocking, can cause sleepless nights, can bring tears but EVERYTHING is a MUST. If you do not agree with me and still have a happy marriage formula we are different people then.

4. Always do fun things. I like watching movies and he loves watching news. We do both. We cook together. We travel. We even read together, sometimes.

5. Do not forget your friends. Have a life outside marriage. a. It will make you a better person if your friends still find you accessible. b. It works wonders for your marriage if your partner sees in you a good person.

6. Never fail to impress. I have often wondered if my mother loved me because I am her daughter or she respects me as a person. I follow the same rule in my relationship with him. I surprise him and make an effort to impress him. In the process I achieve satisfaction for myself. I end up polishing my various other creative abilities. I finish a painting, I compose a poem, I bake bread.

7. Remember that your guy/girl has a family where you are not the only one. Never make him/her choose. As you find space for yourself- give them their due space.

8. In life there are many battles to be won. Get your partner on your side of the battle and then pursue your impossible dreams and battle them. Continue to follow your dreams.

9. Do not live a marriage-centered life.

10. If you do not know what marriage is about do not waste your energy figuring it out.

There is much to be said about my husband but everything cannot be said. But at least one thing must be said. He wants me to be the best I can be. He brings out the very best in me.