Living My Extraordinary Life

Rudyard Kipling wrote a poem called “White Man’s Burden.” The poem dealt with the willing burden the British shouldered, in terms of civilizing the colonized people. The word burden usually implies that none should take it upon themselves ‘willingly.’ But the British did so and as we all know there was much to gain in shouldering that ‘burden.’ India was the ‘Jewel in the Crown.’

Just like the British I have also long shouldered the burden of improving myself. Very modestly speaking, I have not done bad for myself. A little improvement can do no one wrong, definitely not me. But when I say improvement I mean a standard so high that it feels like a burden. I have taken it upon my self willingly. But to me choices are limited, either I improve or I perish. What do I want to improve? Self-discipline.

I am 27. I’ll turn 28 in about three months. Femina (and maybe some other magazines too) said years ago that life begins at thirty. OK so I still have two years to go before I actually start living..GREAT. Not quite. Here’s why :

*Two years back just before coming to the US I had to get three tooth pulled out. My dentist told me later, jokingly, (in Bengali – I’ ll translate) “Great smile you have. I could’nt say that you had such treasures hidden there…” The word he used in Bengali was maal moshla. I love eating but I cannot chew. So that I do not lose my other tooth I should be brushing my teeth every time after I have a meal and then for weaker gums, apply Dabur Lal Dant Manjan (Thanks to my kind friends, they bought me the product from India).

*I had very thick hair when I came to USA. The water here did not suit me at all. AT ALL. Around six months back I found out that if I put curd and an egg in my hair before shampooing (which I do every alternate day) I will not lose as much hair.

*Also I think about the future way too much. I would hate to fall sick and lie down in bed for the last ten years of my life. So I must exercise. This is the least I can do. I need to keep fit, not because I do not have the money to shop for size 8, an entire new wardrobe (which is true) but because after fifty I do not want to be bedridden. At least 30 minutes in the gorgeous gym.

*I also freak out thinking about my memory. Last week for two days I packed my lunch and left it at home. I lose my keys every second day. I have walked to my Department on weekends without my ID card. I could not get in. I walked back. I forgot Jaipur is in Rajasthan. I should have almonds everyday. I should write down everything. I should.

*In order to keep healthy I should have a side of green vegetables, eggs, pulses and fruits I think. If I manage to include one, the other one gets excluded. So if for a week I forget to add spinach in my sandwich I feel bad, I worry that I am not taking in enough ‘greens.’

*Two years back, my mother made an honest confession. She said she was bored of the 5-6 songs that I have been singing for the last 10 years of my life. I know many songs but not more than 2-3 lines. So, I fetched Geetobitan (Tagore's collection of songs) for the lyrics from Calcutta (Thanks Tua). My plan is to listen to the same song for one week and singing with it so every week I learn one new song. I should have at least known 52. I picked up like 10. Booooooooooooooo !!

*I want to be a movie director one day. Something in me tells me I will not. That is a different story. So I think there are two things I should religiously do. One, watch a movie everyday. Watch it as if it is a job. I try to look at scene transition, continuity, camera angles, camera movement, editing ! This pretty much means that I feel compelled to watch even movies like Wedding Date, Bringing out the dead (This one is a Scorsoce flick). Two, watch all bollywood movies and try to become one like ‘them.’ ‘Them’ is who made Dhoom 2 a hit. So, I watched RED, Raqueeb, Good Boy Bad Boy, Robbery, Ek Chalis Ki Local Train and Cheeni Kum (I intend to wtite about all this is in another blog)

*Because I might not become a director, I already feel the pressure to prepare myself for an alternative career. Nah ! Not professor. Journalist. So I think I should read the news everyday. If I do not I will never bag a job.


Now, I feel depressed if I do not do all of this EVERYDAY. I do not have to only read the news but sort of pen down what I think is important to retain. Remember, memory problem. I cannot just walk into the bathroom and take a bath. I have to be prepared for that one hour in advance. Eggs and all. I also have to take them out from the refirgerator and wait for 30 minutes because I had sinus when I put them on my hair straight out of the refrigerator. If I do not go to the gym, if I do not buy greens…I feel depressed. There are many other things. Would have probably bored YOU (?) without any guilt but am sick and tired of living my extra ordinary life, of living by the schedule I have set for myself. TO TOP IT ALL – Blogging will give me an opportunity to maintain my life’s record even when I am 80, so, I also have to blog.

You know why I compared myself with the British? Very simple. Like there was not just one British, I am not the only one. I know there are many like me who all want to do so many things each day and are not able to. Also, so many who live each day the way they want. What is extra ordinary about my life is that I am living it to the fullest. In spite of my receding hair line, my unsteady teeth and weak gums, the excess fat on my body, the chocolate-ice cream dinners, I have passed my driving test in one go, I have learned how to ice skate (not backwards yet), I have written my thesis in three days, I have won a screenplay competition and will make a 15 minutes film when I get back to India (hopfully), I have also secured the brandy that my father has wanted for the last 10 years from every person who traveled outside India, but has never got…..I know even if I lose my memory,my family and friends will make my life worth living at any point in my life. My friend Pallavi will always be satisfied listening to me sing “Bahut nazdeek mujhe aana hain..” I do not need to learn any new song.

Like me, there are many who live such extraordinary lives. Some get documented, some do not. Some will survive in memory, some will not. So, coming back to 'burden,' just like the British, me and many like me have willingly taken upon us the burden of living our extraordinary lives. Doing everything at the same time, or doing one thing at a time - whatever we do, for some others it will always be extraordinary. For me doing a PhD and having a family is an extraordinary achievement. I think high of all my friends who do it, and do it so easily and so well. Just like the British earned India for a colony by shouldering the cause of 'civilizing' the colonized people, we have also earned a LIFE for ourselves. I have. Filling our lives with LIFE.

Kudos..if you have read all this